NYC Midnight Short Story Challenge

The Egg Lady

Desperate to have her own child, Sara trusts her husband’s farfetched plan to kidnap an egg donor in hopes of getting one of her eggs. Unfortunately, when he enlists the help of his younger brother their plans start to go awry.

***********
Sara was slumped back in the doctor’s office chair and not really focusing on anything. She had just heard the news she was dreading for so long. Her husband Derrick was pacing nervously behind her.

“So doc, you wanna say all of that over again?” questioned Derrick.

“I know this is difficult news to hear but we’ve done all the tests and without medical assistance you cannot become pregnant,” said the doctor.

“Wait, are you saying you wanna help us do it?” Derrick asked with a smirk. “Well I can tell you we don’t need any help with that, you pervert.”

The doctor nervously adjusted his tie and replied, “No, that’s not what I meant. If you want to have your own child, your best option would be to consider an egg donor.”

Derrick’s face screwed up as he looked at the doctor. “You mean like a chicken?!”

“Not exactly,” the doctor explained. “A young woman, typically, will donate her healthy eggs to be impregnated by your sperm through in vitro fertilization. A fertilized egg is then inseminated and your wife would essentially become pregnant at that point. We can do all of it here in the clinic. You simply pick from a database of donors to start the process.”

Sara perked up in her seat. “Let’s do that! Sign me up. When can we get started?”

Derrick interrupted, “Wait, how much does something like that cost?”

“Typically the costs can vary between $20,000 to $40,000,” the doctor replied.

Sara slumped back into her seat. “We can’t afford that! Dr. Ramon, I want a baby of my own. I’ll do anything. There’s got to be a way.”

Dr. Ramon responded softly, “I’m sorry. I wish I could do more.”

Sara and Derrick left the doctor’s office feeling defeated. They stopped for a moment in front of the receptionist desk in the waiting room. Sara turned and looked at her husband.

“All I’ve ever wanted was to be a mom. There has to be something we can do.”

Derrick was standing there trying to console his wife when a woman who just walked up to the receptionist caught his attention.

“Hi. I need to schedule an appointment for tomorrow morning. The doctor said he wanted to recheck my hormone levels before I have my eggs harvested.”

A smile ran across Derrick’s face as he looked at his wife. “Oh my god babe, I’ve got an idea. I know how we can get us a baby.”

“What do you mean?”

“What if we could get us one of those egg ladies ourselves?” he said as he nodded his head towards the woman at the front desk. Sara had a puzzled look on her face.

“We’re going to borrow one of those egg donor ladies and get us an egg. We’ll trick her into thinking it’s all a part of the normal process and nobody will know any different. We can use a room at your sister’s salon. I know a guy who’s smart about all that medical stuff. I just need to call my kid brother and see if he can still get his hands on an ambulance.”

Sara knew it was a farfetched idea, but she was desperate. “You’re right, it’s not like we’re hurting anyone or stealing somebody’s real kid. We only need one egg and she’ll never know the difference. Let’s do it!”

“Oh you know those are my three favorite words to hear from you,” Derrick said with another smirk and gave her a kiss.

They started to kiss more passionately and Derrick quickly guided them into a nearby coat closet.

“I told that doc we didn’t need any help with this part!” Derrick said as he shut the door.

***

The next day, with Derrick in place outside, Sara approached the waiting room in her makeshift nurse’s attire. She spotted their target sitting by herself on the other side of the room. Now she just needed to get past the receptionist.

“Derrick, how am I supposed to get past the front desk lady? I need a distraction or something,” Sara whispered into her cell phone.

“Don’t worry, I got it covered,” Derrick chuckled. “I ordered one of those giant flower bouquets to get delivered. Once it shows up, just sneak past while everyone is distracted.”

As she stood there, a man walked past Sara carrying a vase with a single rose.

“You idiot! It’s just one rose. How is that supposed to help?” Sara shouted under her breath into the phone.

Derrick was shocked. “Damn that cost me like $30.”

When the woman Sara was watching stood to follow the nurse who called her name, Sara had no choice. She quickly slipped past the receptionist who was now arguing with the delivery man.

“I’m not sure who ordered this, but we don’t have anyone here by the name of Dr. Pervert!”

From a supply closet, Sara watched the woman get escorted into a patient’s room. After a few minutes the nurse exited the room and Sara pounced. She quickly grabbed the chart hanging on the door and slipped into the room.

“Um, hello Miss…” Sara scanned the form quickly, “Courtney Bell.”

“Oh hello, the other nurse just left,” Courtney responded.

“Uh, yes of course. I’m helping out. I just need to check your, um, pulse and stuff.” Sara fumbled awkwardly with the medical equipment hanging on the wall.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing with that?”

“Of course I do. I’m a nurse.” Sara gestured at her outfit. “I have a stethoscope and orthopedic shoes. It’s not like they just give this stuff to anyone.”

“But the last nurse already did this. Are you sure you have the right room?” Courtney asked nervously.

“That’s just it; your results were kinda bad. How have you been feeling?”

Courtney paused for a second and then responded, “Well I did have a headache yesterday for like an hour.”

“Wow, it’s worse than I thought.” Sara dropped the equipment and grabbed Courtney’s arm. “We need to get you to a specialty clinic right away.”

“But…” Courtney protested, but before she could finish her sentence Sara was leading her towards the door. Sara cracked the door and peeked into the hallway.

“Don’t worry. We have an ambulance waiting out back for situations just like this. Plus you don’t want anything to happen to your, uh, precious cargo do you?” Sara nodded towards Courtney’s belly.

“Well, no,” said Courtney, “but they said everything would happen in the office here. Where are we going?”

Sara began leading Courtney out of the exam room and down the hall to the back exit. “Your situation is rare but one that needs immediate attention. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll be with you the entire time, because I am a nurse and all.”

They reached the exit, but when Sara opened the door Derrick was nowhere in sight.
“Where is that idiot?” she mumbled under breath.

Just as she finished her thought an ambulance came around the corner and screeched to a halt in front of them. The back door to the ambulance opened to reveal Derrick’s younger brother Saul.

“Hey Sara, do you like it? I bet you didn’t think I could actually get one,” Saul boasted.

“Would you zip it and help our patient up.”

“What is he talking about?” Courtney asked.

“Ignore him. Watch your step please,” Sara said.

“Why hello beautiful, my name is Saul and I will be assisting you today. Now just lie down on the bed and get comfortable.” He gestured toward the patient gurney.

Sara quickly shut the doors and shouted at Derrick in the driver’s seat to go. As they began to speed away, Saul was trying to fit a breathing mask on Courtney.

“What is that for?” asked Courtney.

“Uh, it’s just a precaution,” Sara quickly explained.

“Don’t worry one bit, it’s just oxygen,” said Saul as he put the mask on her. “Now just breathe deeply.” And with that Courtney’s eyes rolled back and she passed out.

Saul giggled and said, “Oxygen mixed with a little nitrous oxide.”

“You’re an idiot. And quit using our names!” Sara slapped him on the shoulder. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing with that stuff?” she asked anxiously eyeing Courtney.

“Of course I do. Besides it’s perfectly harmless. See, watch.” Saul took the mask from Courtney and put it on his face and took a deep breath. Just like Courtney, his eyes rolled back and he collapsed onto the ambulance floor with a thud.

“What was that?” yelled Derrick.

“Nothing,” said Sara staring down at the unconscious Saul. “Your brother is finally doing something to help us out.”

When Courtney finally woke up, her head still felt a little foggy and her vision was blurry at first.

“What… where am I?” she asked.

“You’re in one of our signature serenity suites,” explained Sara. She elbowed Derrick who was standing next to her along with Saul.

“Ah, yeah, it’s one of those real fancy rooms you read about celebrities getting,” said Derrick.

Courtney looked around the room. She was sitting in a plush chair with her feet in a soaking tub. There were candles and soft drapes on the windows, but no medical equipment. If she didn’t know better the room looked like some place she’d get a pedicure.

“This doesn’t look like a hospital room. Where is all the medical equipment?”

Derrick chimed in, “It’s all state of the art wireless. All the equipment is, um, in another room where you can’t see it but we can and it’s totally real.” He looked at Sara with a smile looking for confirmation that his quick thinking was impressive.

Sara just frowned at him but regained her composure. “Don’t worry about any of that stuff. You just need to sit back and relax. Now if you’ll excuse us.”

Sara turned and left the room with Derrick and Saul following in step, but not before Saul paused to throw Courtney a wink and mouth call me with a phone gesture made from his thumb and finger.

“Ok, so now what?” Sara asked impatiently to Derrick once they were in the hallway. “How do we get the egg and do all that other stuff?”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ve got it covered. I know a guy who knows a guy.” Derrick looked down at his watch. “He should be here soon.”

Sara eyed him suspiciously. “This better not be that guy who calls himself ‘Dr. Love’ and offers free pelvic exams outside the liquor store,” saying the last part while making air quotes.

“Baby, I’m offended. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to make a quick phone call,” said Derrick nervously.

Sara took a deep breath and looked back at the room Courtney was in. “Well until whoever gets here we need to keep her as comfortable as possible.”

“I’m already on top of that one,” responded Saul with a hop in his step.

“What. Did. You. Do?!” Sara said each word with emphasis.

“Chill out. She said she was hungry so I told her about the Chinese place next door. She just stepped out, but don’t worry I made her promise to come right back.”

“Are you freaking kidding me?” Sara yelled.

“Of course not,” Saul said in defense. “I told her about the deli. That Chinese place is terrible, am I right?” Saul scanned each face for agreement.

“Dang, even I know that was stupid,” Derrick said dryly.

“Quick, we need to get her back!” Sara exclaimed as she rushed for the front door.

Once outside, they all froze in their tracks when they saw them.

There were two patrol cars pulling up in front of the delicatessen. Any minute now the police officers would get out of their cars and go into the restaurant.

Sara turned to her husband and shouted, “Do something!”

“I got this,” said Derrick as he quickly dialed his phone. “911? I need to report a car accident down the street from the Market Street deli. There’s blood everywhere so make sure you send at least two cop cars.” He quickly clicked off the phone before the operator could ask any follow up questions.
Everyone held their breath for a second watching the police cars when, to their relief, they turned on their sirens and sped away.

Sara let out a deep sigh, but jumped when she heard a sudden beeping.

“That’s me,” explained Saul as he checked his beeper. “Oh boy, looks like there’s a bad car accident down the street. Wow, what a coincidence. I better go, you know cause I got the ambulance and all.”

Derrick went to stop his brother but a stern look from Sara told him to keep his mouth shut.

Once Saul left, Sara and Derrick rushed over to the restaurant. It was crowded and difficult to see who anyone was.

“I can’t see her,” Sara complained. “There are too many people.”

Derrick cleared his throat and shouted over the crowd, “Everybody, this will only take a minute! We just need the egg lady!”

The chaos as people started to scream and run for the exit knocked Sara and Derrick back onto the sidewalk. She just laid there knowing it was over. Courtney was gone and so were her chances of having a baby.

***

“Babe, it’s been over a month and I’m sick of sleeping on the couch. Are you still mad at me?”

Derrick peeked into the bedroom with hesitation. The last time he caught a shoe in the face. She was still blaming him for everything that happened. The egg lady got away, he had to pay a huge fine for the phony 911 call, and Saul was living with them now after he lost his job as an EMT.

“Babe?” Derrick called out now with more concern. He could hear Sara throwing up in the adjoining bathroom.

“Whoa, are you ok?” Derrick asked from the doorway. Sara was laying her head on the edge of the toilet bowl. She looked pale and had a little snot dripping from her nose.

“I’ve never been better,” Sara said with a weak smile and nodded towards the countertop.

Derrick looked at the thing next to the sink. “What’s this? It has two blue lines. Is that good?”

“You’re such an idiot,” Sara said just before retching again.

“NO WAY! I’m going to be a dad?!” Derrick cheered. “You peed on this right? Oh, I can’t wait to rub this in the face of that Dr. Pervert, literally.”

With her head still in the toilet, Sara just gave a thumbs up.